House Sitting
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Pets, clothes, and neighbors are pretty normal, right? Not in Elena's house. ReTi oneshot for ToWriteLoveOnHerArms08.


House Sitting

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for ToWriteLoveOnHerArms08 so enjoy! Please R&R.

Tifa watched as the car containing Tseng and Elena drove off, the two waving at her before vanishing from view.

"Tifa we have the house all to ourselves," Reno's voice said in a suggestive tone right near her left ear. Tifa turned to her boyfriend of two months and smirked.

"No we don't," the barmaid said. "We have Pa-" but Reno cut her off with a panicked look.

"Don't say that devil's name! It'll hear you!"

"Papaya," Tifa muttered, causing the Turk to look behind him. As if summoned by his thoughts, the gray cat stood there, it's green eyes locking with Reno's own.

Reno froze. And before a word could be said the feline dashed towards Reno, the Turk falling to the ground as the pet started to purr and rub it's face up against the redhead. Drool seeped from it's lips and splattered all over Reno's face.

"Aw, he likes you," Tifa teased.

"Get him off me!" Reno screamed. He hated this damn cat ever since he had first met it a few months ago. Papaya, on the other hand, thought Reno was the best person in the world to drool on.

Tifa sighed as she picked up Papaya, the cat purring as she stroked it's back.

"I deserve a kiss for that torture," Reno said, pouting.

Tifa looked thoughtful for a moment before helping Reno up. Her lips moved closer to his and Reno closed his eyes, waiting for the oh so sweet taste of her lips.

"I don't kiss men with drool all over their face," she whispered.

And as Tifa turned around to check out the rest of the house they would be watching for the weekend, she couldn't keep the grin from her face.

It was so much fun teasing him.

* * *

A few hours later, while Papaya was taking a nap, Tifa decided to check out Elena's closet, partly to satisfy her curiosity and partly to see just what outfits the Turk had besides her Turk suit.

The barmaid was expecting somewhat fancy clothes.

But what she received as she opened the closet was a mountain of textiles, the pile engulfing her in a moment. Reno started laughing when he came in and saw his girlfriend's head poking out from underneath the pile, a pair of silk lingerie plastered to her hair.

"I didn't know you were into panty raids," Reno teased.

Tifa glared at him and managed to get a hand out. Taking it, Reno pulled and soon enough Tifa was free from her prison of fibers and nylons.

"Elena's kind of slobby at home, isn't she?" Tifa said aloud.

Reno nodded.

"And I can't wait to tease her about it."

Tifa then noticed Reno's raised eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"You still have those pink panties on your head."

The next thing Reno knew the panties collided with his face, Tifa stomping out of the room and muttering under her breath.

She really needed to learn how to take a joke, Reno thought to himself.

* * *

Later that night Reno decided to take Tifa out to dinner, the Turk choosing one of the more fashionable restaurants. Tifa looked stunning in her sequined blue strapless gown while Reno certainly struck a dashing figure in his tux.

After being seated, they made small talk, joking, and just enjoying being with each other.

Until a woman wearing a green dress walked up to them. She had long blonde hair and dark eyes that gleamed when they spied the couple.

"Hi there, sorry to interrupt but are you both watching Elena's house?"

"Yes we are...how do you know Elena?" Tifa asked, noticing the way the blonde's eyes roved over Reno. The fist fighter made a visible move closer to the Turk, resting her hand on his and flashing a glare towards the younger woman.

"I'm her next door neighbor Kaylee, nice to meet you!"

The two nodded at her and before another word could be said, she grabbed a chair from an empty table and joined them.

"I hope you don't mind. I'm kind of a nosy person."

Again, the couple nodded, although Tifa had to send Kaylee another glare as the blonde sized Reno up like he was a piece of meat.

Small talk resumed, the two lovers discovering that Kaylee was a model photographer.

"That must be fun," Reno observed.

"Oh it is. I wouldn't stop for the world," Kaylee said with a giggle.

Eventually their food arrived, Kaylee's order coming along with it after she informed the waiter of her change of tables.

Tifa savored the steak she was eating and glanced over at Kaylee, her eyes widening as she saw the young woman's face turning red.

"Allergies...." she manged to get out. Tifa instantly led her towards the restroom and patted her back.

"You'll be fine," she soothed. Once the pair were in the restroom, alone by all accounts, Kaylee looked into Tifa's eyes and pressed the Avalanche member up against the sink counter.

"What are you-" but Tifa was cut off by a pair of lips closing over hers.

"Mmmm, Tiffy Spiffy, your lips taste so...sweet," Kaylee moaned, moving in for more. However Tifa managed to shove her off.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Nothing at all cutie pie. I like you and I tend to take what I like."

"But you were sizing up Reno ever since you saw him," Tifa rationalized. Kaylee just laughed at that train of thought.

"Baby I was just teasing you, to see how you'd react. You were adorable with your scrunched up nose and those eyes....ooh I could just drown in your eyes."

Tifa decided escape was preferable to staying a second longer with this obviously deranged lesbian. However Kaylee moved closer and Tifa found herself unable to move.

"Ah, ah, ah, naughty naughty." The blonde then showed Tifa the activated Stop Materia she pulled from Gaia knows where. "Give me another taste," she groaned and for the second time that night Tifa was Frenched by another woman.

The bathroom door opened then, the flash of red making the intruder's identity obvious.

"Tifa what's taking so-" but Reno was rendered silent as he viewed something that made him doubt his sanity.

Tifa, his oh so wonderful girlfriend, was being kissed heartily by another woman.

Reno allowed the kiss to carry on for a second longer before he separated the two, eyes narrowed into a death glare at the blonde.

"Leave," he growled, the blonde scampering away. Once movement was restored to Tifa, she hugged onto Reno tightly.

"Thanks..."

"Don't mention it," Reno replied.

Dinner was obviously over.

* * *

Cuddled up on the couch an hour later, Tifa sighed into Reno's shoulder, looking up at his face.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that you skipped dinner and moved right on to dessert, babe," Reno replied. That earned him a hard punch to the shoulder and a huff.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry, just teasing you know." His arms wrapped around her waist then and he took a sip of his beer.

"I know and you know maybe one day we can invite her to my apartment for some fun," Tifa suggested in the most serious tone Reno had ever heard her use.

The only logical response to that was beer spurting from the redhead's mouth.

"Babe...you can't be...a three...but I..."

Tifa giggled at the look on his face and kissed him on the cheek.

Yeah, it was really fun to tease him, she decided.

* * *

Two days later Tseng and Elena got back from their vacation, Papaya drooling all over Reno in happiness at the sight of his owners.

After giving a lecture about cleanliness and drawing Elena aside for a private conversation, Tifa left with her boyfriend, Tseng and Elena not noticing the smirk on her face.

It looked exactly like Reno's.

Several hours later, around one, Elena knocked on a certain door.

Kaylee answered it and let Elena in, grinning at her blonde neighbor.

Five minutes later, Elena dashed from the house, brown eyes wide and trying desperately to forget the kiss that Kaylee had given her.

"It's so much fun when they run!" Kaylee crowed, chasing after her newest love interest.


End file.
